KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
