so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
