At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
