im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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