I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
