How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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