Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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