I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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