This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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