Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
