I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
did you just send me my own nude
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
