Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
