Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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