The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
