I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize