i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
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Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
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I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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