Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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