I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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