I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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