you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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