We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
