I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
whose ass print is on the piano?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
