We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
