Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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