I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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