he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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