but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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