Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
