Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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