there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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