Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
