we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
