youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
