I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
