just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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