I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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