you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
