oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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