so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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