I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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