so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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