Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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