oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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