New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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