Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
