apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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