I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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