She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
