i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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