I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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