who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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