Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I enjoy the company of your penis
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
