Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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