you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
