You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
