Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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