i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
