They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
