btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
