Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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