Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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