Please, let me fuck your mom
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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