...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
