just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
