I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
