i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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