So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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