Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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